Family Dinner (September 21)

After returning to Gitarama and taking a short nap in my room I endeavored to follow Patrick’s terrible directions to reach the point on the main road in the city where he was waiting for me. As such is my luck, my phone ran out of minutes as I was doing this. Luckily I managed to find him without incident and he introduced me to his sister Bijoux. We then set out to walk to Vivens’ house for dinner.

The walk to Vivens’ house turned out to be quite a trek since he doesn’t live in Gitarama-proper but in Byimana. Nearly an hour later the three of us arrived and I couldn’t help but feel that the shower I had taken just before leaving was all for naught. After ringing the bell, being let in the gate and led into the house I realized this was to be no small dinner party – in attendance were Vivens’, his wife Clarisse, myself, Patrick, Bijoux, Vivens’ sister, brother, brother-in-law and niece as well as his best friend/neighbor, David. Most everyone was settled in the living room of Vivens and Clarisse’s beautiful and large house chatting while Clarisse bustled about making sure everyone always had more beer or Fanta to drink. Vivens’ mother and father also joined us and after introductions (me attempting to greet them in Kinyarwanda) and once again embarking on the weird half-hug Vivens’ reminded me to say amakuru? They were very curious to learn more about me but speak only the local language so that made things very difficult. Vivens translated a few times and at one point his father challenged his mother to ask me for some particular piece of information about me herself since she didn’t deem his answer satisfactory. This made everyone laugh and me smile once the transaction was translated.

At one point one of the house girls brought out Linda, Vivens and Clarisses’ beautiful and very big 11 month old daughter. In true style of one so young she chose to play strange and cling to her dad for quite some time. While she turned away from almost everyone in near tears, she was eventually persuaded that David wasn’t so bad and passed some time on his lap. Some time thereafter the strange looking white girl was far too interesting and seemingly safe enough to visit and so Linda walked (with help) right past her Uncle Felix to me. Like every other baby I’ve met, the more any individual tried to get Linda to come to them the more adamant she was in her refusal, thus I think my choice to let her be helped my case very much.

Dinner was meat that I think was slow cooked with carrots and green bananas and onion and was served on four or five large platters each with multiple forks. This meal was probably the best thing I have eaten since I arrived in Rwanda. Eating behavior, aside from everyone attacking the platter nearest him/her with a fork and the help of the people sitting nearest them, seemed to follow the general idea of “do what comes natural.” By that I mean that you use whatever implement is most effective to eat any particular piece of food – fork, fingers etc. – and after chewing all the meat off a bone simply spit it out and move on. I had seen similar behavior before (ex. Eating brochette right off the skeer where at home if would remove the meat onto my plate and eat it with my fork) and am beginning to embrace it. Frankly, eating with a greater emphasis on function rather than form (fancy table manners) is a bit refreshing and certainly more efficient. And Clarisse promised to show my how to make the dish we ate so hopefully I might be able to recreate it when I return home.

After digesting dinner for a bit Vivens made a small speech welcoming everyone to his home and me to Rwanda and essentially to his family and inviting me to join them again. This practice of making a small speech at such gatherings of friends seems to be quite common here (Apollo did the same thing at his house, after we ate, for Hannah’s farewell) so I think I may have to get better at responding to such gestures as I generally don’t know what to say.

Daily Smiles

- Navigating the half-hug with considerably greater success this time relative to last time.
- Linda and everything about her. She’s absolutely adorable. I love children.
- The unavoidable “one last round” biting Patrick in the butt more than me for once!
- The ride home, during part of which 4 of us were packed into the backseat of Vivens’ car.